The day after...

Let's continue from where we left off...

[12:20pm] Arrive at health centre, luckily it is en route to home, tell the dippy blonde behind the counter, after she checks that I'm on "the system" (I hate it when people round here assume I am not local, just because I can actually speak English properly!) state that "I need to see a doctor." I was swaying by this point, the sunlight and heat outside had tripled the nauseating effects of my headache, and really was holding down the chunks. She then tells me she has put me in to see the emergency doctor. "How long will the wait be?" I ask, stupidly presuming that doctors work all the way through the working day. "Sorry" is the retort, "the doctors are on lunch from 12 to 3, you have to come back at half two, you are number 8 for the emergency doctor in the yellow section." Holding my back 2 fingered salute, I leave, sod the appointment, I know I have some Syndol at home, I'll take those and crash out.

[12:45pm] Get home, nausea overpowers again, rushing to the bathroom, I lift the lid just in time. Make a semi conscious decision that taking any more painkillers will just result in them being regurgitated. I struggle on the floor, room spinning, to remove my clothes, I'm baking up, the sweat is pouring out of me. Crawl onto my bed, thank god the window and doors are open, a breeze blows over my back, i pull a pillow over my head and lay as still as I possibly can. The bed feels like is is in the middle of one of these and the pain has reached the point I have been at so many times before. I don't want this any more, I want to die, and that is the thought that fills my head as I lose consciousness...

[5:37pm] Groggy, I awake, the alarm clock is flashing on my side table. I very cautiously sit up, the room is supprisingly "still", the very slight din of traffic resonates softly round the spacious quarter. Time for the test... I softly shake my head from side to side, like a child might do when outright refusing to do as he or she is told, except much slower. The pain is now very dull, a complete contrast to the original agonisingly sharp pain experienced during the beginning stages of the attack. My neck is stiff, not uncommon, my head feels thick, again, not uncommon, but something just isnt right. After only 5 hours of slumber, my head is almost "normal." This dull feeling normally only starts the day after my attack (which coincidentally I still have) but it has started too early.

This continues all evening, I have a small bite to eat, watch some CSI and Las Vegas on my PC, laying in bed, and fall asleep around 2:30am (having rested so much already, I was supprised to drift off so early)

Today I have a dull headache as I mentioned previously, my neck is still stiff, and I have a really sore jaw due to grinding my teeth during the attack. Maybe some sort of retainer might be a good idea... Back to work I go.. it's 11:40, roughly 24 hours ago I was in so much pain I couldn't see, I couldn't perform like a normal human being, and not through my lack of trying, or wanting to, but through sheer lack of ability. I will continue though, the second I became insentient, that thought of giving up hope dissipated, and besides, I have far to much to live for.

Yet another migraine

Right, excuse the scattiness of this post, and any typos that may occur at the beginning, but I am typing this blind, well, just about. I am in the middle of having a migraine, from what I can tell so far, it’s gonna be a pretty hefty one, so here is a step by step account of what I actually go through every time I have one. I’m going to try to stay at work, and stick this through, all for you, the reader, so you can try and comprehend what these do to me.

I can just about make out from my systray clock, that it is now 10:32. About 15 mins ago this started, so that’s makes our first entry at 10:17:

[10:17am] Started getting tunnel vision, thought nothing of it at first, but when rubbing my eyes did nothing, at all, I started getting worried.

[10:20am] Tunnel vision has blurred everything bar a small circle in the centre in my vision where I can just about make things out. This is when I realised that the shit is gonna hit the fan, so in search of painkillers I go.

[10:25am] Mission accomplished, thank god I know this office like the back of my hand, pre-empting anyone moving their chairs in front of me was a hard task. Neck 3x200mg Nurofen just as the tunnel vision starts to clear and my usual aura begins. Flashing lights just off centre to the right, in a sort of horizontal zig-zag pattern, only one line, but with vertical zig-zags within it, mainly red, orange and green in colour. Had to run downstairs to fix someone’s keyboard, when the idea of blogging this came to me, which brought me to 10:32

[10:37am] Now, zig-zags still there, I can feel the tension building up at the front right hand side of my head just above my eye. Not had a right sided migraine in a while, and yes, they do normally hurt more, told you this was gonna be a bitch. Those of you worried about me using a monitor etc, don’t. I have my screens set to decent resolutions with a very high refresh rate, also, I have had my eyes tested, and various other tests by various other opticians and doctors, monitors don’t cause my migraines. I just suffer from chronic migraine, full stop! Or “period” as an American might say. I have no triggers, chocolate, cheese, citrus and caffeine are the main known triggers, known as the 4Cs, but I removed them all from my diet for 4 months a year or so ago, and guess what, still got migraines. My aura is beginning to go, pain to come shortly, I will keep you updated.

[10:47am] Vision is beginning to return to normal, just spoke to a good friend of mine about the idea, and her response was, and I quote “GOD.. GO HOME” You may think she is right, I should go home, rest, recover and recuperate. So let me put this to you, if I were in a traffic accident, say I got knocked flying off my bike, landed so badly that I smashed my leg up, and needed it amputated (bit fucking drastic, I know) I would have two choices. Firstly, I could cry, whinge, moan and complain about it all, have someone look after me, fend for me, wait on me hand and foot, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year, or I could get on with my life, as normally as I possibly could, keep my chin up, and not let it get me down. Agreed? The same as anyone with a life affecting condition would do, epilepsy being a very good example.
Also, take my dad’s situation, back in 2000 he had 3 heart attacks, the last of which nearly killed him, one I had the most horrific experience of witnessing. He was in and out of hospital for the next six months to a year, he had angioplasties, stress tests, and eventually stents had to be implanted into the section of artery that kept collapsing. When he was eventually released from hospital permanently, he was prescribed a massive concoction of medications, just to keep him alive. Aspirin, Warfarin, ACE inhibitors, Lipid lowering med’s, other cholesterol controlling substances, you name it, he has probably taken it at some point since his attacks. Now, to the best of his ability, he carried on his “normal” life, his “normal” routine, as a father, husband and self-employed member of society. He continued to run his business the best he could, keep his life under control the best he could, and this man also suffers from migraine, which due to his other medication, he has to be careful with what he takes to combat the attack, as it could affect his heart. And that is the new perspective I have on this horrible affliction, I’m not going to let it get me down, I’m not going to let it control and dictate my life like it used to. Sure, I will take it easy when I am having an attack, but I refuse point blank to let this control my life any more. I will take the painkillers and anti-inflammatories, and try, to the best of my ability, not to let this get me down

[11:28am] That went on a bit, and I got distracted by work half way through, I just finished the last entry, the aura is completely gone, and the pain has shifted, I have a throbbing at the front left side of my head now, from the left temple to I would say about the dead centre of my left eye, as well as the throbbing. Ohh, and the nausea has begun… quite strongly.

[11:53am] For the first time since deciding to do this, I am thinking it may be a bad fucking idea. So bad that I just messaged my boss to ask for the PM off work. [Excuse the upcoming graphic-ness] I just made it to the toilet in time to be sick due to the pain I am in, my head is throbbing. Add to that the fact that when you retch it increases blood pressure to the head, causing more pain, causing more retching, it's a horrible cycle, one I have come to terms with during my years of suffering from migraine, one I wouldn't wish on my worst of enemies, and I mean that.

[12:07pm] Had enough, going home, and I think my initial point was made:

I’m going to try to stay at work, and stick this through, all for you, the reader, so you can try and comprehend what these do to me.

No matter how positive I think, how early I catch an attack and try and treat it, nothing helps. I think I could live as an amputee, I could even cope suffereing from epilepsy, as once your attack is over, you are semi back to normal, but with this pain, I just can't do it. I am gonna stop at the health centre on the way home to pick up a prescription for Tylex, these were the only painkillers I ever took that managed to at least control the pain I am in. The link below gives a good insight into some of the associated experiences with migraines, for now, this man needs his bed, and some dark.

http://www.mamashealth.com/migraine.asp

Shoot to kill?

Let's start with some politics!

Britain remains in a raised state of alert, Bush is happily twiddling his thumbs, enjoying the carnage he seems to be continually causing globally, Blair is still acting like his little lapdog and innocent 27 year old Brazilians are getting shot.


Now, before anyone starts having a shout, hear me out first. I do not condemn the officers who riddled Jean Charles de Menezes' body with holes, or Sir Ian Blair for standing by them, supporting his officers, the country is currently under attack and drastic times call for drastic measures. If you run away from armed officers, towards the location of a recent terrorist attack, jump over safety barriers, and refuse to yield, expect the most unexpectable repercussions. And as you can see below, quite a big percentage of interviewees believe that the "Shoot to kill" policy should not be relaxed at present:



My condolences do, however, go out to the friends and family of Mr Menezes, losing anyone close to you is hard to do, even more so in these circumstances.

Anyway's that's the rant on that done, more arrests during last night, more "suspect packages" found, I really am glad that I'm nowhere near it to be quite selfish yet brutally honest about it all.

Someone who is over there though is on of the funniest, most caring, loving person I have ever had the absolute pleasure of knowing. Siobhan's been in Bristol/Exmouth since Friday, though she left England yesterday for Dublin, and will be there till the weekend. To quote The Police's (she'll love me for this!) "The bed's too big without you" is a complete and utter understatement. I feel like I'm missing a limb, I wander round the (very small let me remind everyone) flat like a dog who's lost his bone, and to make matters all so much worse, the insomnia is back... HOORAY! On a brighter note, so is my appetite, which was getting rather worrying, but I'm ravenous all the time again now, so maybe I'm heading back to the good ol' AHS! (Andy's Happy State)

This involves, feeling persistently hungry, sleeping 3-4 hours a day at most, reading a lot, and watching sunrises. I may have to stay at Siobhan's more often for that though, as her house faces east, and you get some cracking views :) Though I don't know if they beat some of the sunsets I get from my place , remember these:




Yesterday's launch of the space shuttle discovery seems to have gone off without a hitch, even if there were reports of sheilding/heat panels falling off during take off... Still, what do you expect using technology from the 50s and 60s, because as we all know, most of it is just "upgraded" to meet present requirements anyways... Like M$ Windows, same shit underneath, new name on top! And what's with the name Vista anyways?!!?

I leave you with this rather amusing link where you can read about how they plan to have a space station on the Moon, which they plan to use to hop over to mars for some more spacial exploration... Godspeed... ya big bunch of loons!!!! And not this type either, I'm talking proper crazy:

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?!

What is the world coming to when more and more people on the planet are blowing each other up, for reasons of race or creed, for greed, or just for the plain sake of it? Add to this, those amongst us who are morbidly fascinated with it all. Taking photos and videos of said partially blown up bits of human, what was very previously a life, a living being, someone’s son or daughter, father or mother, husband or wife. And for what? To maybe make a quick buck of Ogrish or Rotten?? You sick, sick individuals, you disgust me. I bet it is one of you who is currently raising this future pillar of society, who is accused of raping a 7 year old and two 8 year olds. If this is what he is doing at 14, we can only imagine in horror of what can be expected of him in the future. No doubt, he would probably end up like this charming young man, who at only 16 has been sentenced to life for raping his 28 year old teacher, IN THE FUCKING CLASSROOM! He bit, beat and headbutted the poor bloody woman before forcing himself on her. She feared for her life, because of some over-horny little shit, but don’t worry, he’s safely locked away, and not available for parole for another 3 whole years. Great to see the British Justice system working to it’s full potential.
No doubt, this will continue, in the coming weeks, when more house are searched more victims are named and more families destroyed and friends lost
It is a sad, sad world we live in

Please excuse me...

... for the recent lack of anything decent posted. I mean, there have been plenty of chances for me to write up some funny story, interesting quote, even a temerarious (gotta love Google's word of the day, part of it's new personalised service.) rant about someone or something.
I mean we had father's day (which I know of at least 2 people who forgot!!) so we could have celebrated that... OR NOT! You see, similarly to valentines day (where we celebrate how once a year Roman Soldiers would get free pick of a woman from whichever village they were currently plundering for the forthcoming year, or until he killed her) Father's day is a bit of a farce. However, unlike Valentines, this holiday hasnt been hyped up and expanded by Hallmark and the likes, ohh no, it's a complete fabrication by some yank woman named Sonora Dodd, who back in 1909, whilst listening to a Mothering Sunday sermon in Washington, thought how good an idea it would be to have a Paternal equivalent, so she could honour her father, who's birthday was funnily in June, apparently some time around the 19th. Even funnier is the following:

in 1910 the first group of morons from Spokane, Washington actually went along with this idea, followed by support in 1924 from an even bigger moron called President Calvin Coolage. 1966 saw President Lyndon Johnson adding his 2 pence worth and signing a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June 'Fathers Day'. Why couldn't he have made it a Monday so it would have at least been made a bank holiday or something? Anyways... The biggest moron of the lot was president Nixon who made it permanent with a law in 1972. It's all very nice except for that fact that its adding to the slow Americanisation of England. First Fathers day, then the whole MTV culture thing, adverts brainwashing us into suing each other for injuries every 5 seconds. What next, the super bowl? I'm going to go back and hide in my cave...

[more of Mr Vallejo's humour can be found here yes, I part plagerised, but hey, it's funny, worth it, and gives him a plug]

We also had the British and Irish Lions' tour of New Zealand, who fared quite well against some of the smaller, Provincial and even second rate teams, but who got totally fricking annihilated by the Maori selection and 3 times by the Test team, who coincidentally could probably take on any previous world cup winning team and totally smack the living shit out of them. Be sure to check out probably the best team on the planet!

Next up, Islamic militant groups deciding to bomb parts of London, or was it? I know all the conspiracy theories will be flying, so I'm not even going to start, I'm just going to say it was all very upsetting. 9/11 was a shitter, but I never thought of it as having a direct affect on me, my loved ones, my friends. People I work with are only a 5 minute walk from Tavistock Square, and regularly commute to Kings Cross and Russell Square. It all suddenly became very, very real.

In case you havent already seen the link, you can also go check out the lovely Miss Myles' blog or even check out how Iolaire is doing now that he has successfully moved over to Macau (if he has bothered updating his site!!)

That's all for now... I'll be back soon... I hope... but for now, WATCH... THIS... SPACE!!!

The really big...

TWO THREE! That's right folks, the 24th year that the world has had to suffer my existance has officially begun! The weekend went a little along the lines of this:
(http://eul_grepus.blogspot.com , it's author, maintainer and supplier of ideas (i.e me) holds no responsibility for any missing details or badly remembered information, due to excess alcomoholic intake!)

Thursday night was fantastic. Met with Siobhan on this side of the runway, walked across to Spain and caught a cab to Campamento for a meal at El Tendio (recommended to anyone reading this, great food) which she had arranged. Arrive and sit down, and go to order a beer, when shiv sneakily says "shall we get a bottle of wine?" Yeah why not, so I ask the lady for the wine list. Whilst perusing said list for something I fancy, ignoring the lady putting glasses etc down, I see Shiv gesturing to one of the waitresses, and upon asking what was going on, I find to my supprise that she had ordered a bottle of Champagne for me. Cue massively stupid grin from ear to ear which lasted all night long :) The food was superb, if you havent had chateaubriand at this place before, go get it. They carve a lovely piece of meat very finely for two people, and give you a hot plate to cook it on. As good if not better than steak on a stone!
Friday was my actual birthday, and the presents were a plenty :) A new shirt, wallet, Wales winning the Grand Slam DVD amongst some other not-going-to-mention-here style presents brought many a smile to my face from the lovely lady. Some money from my parents (new clothes/shoes tomorrow methinks) and an iPod mini from Chris and Buff. What can I say guys, I was shocked to say the least, thank you both very very much again! Ended up in Spain again, till the very early hours of Saturday, and unsupprisingly did very little yesterday!

Anyways, going to finish chucking music on my ipod :D bye for now

Just a quick hello....

Just a quick message to say howdy to anyone actually reading this nowadays, to invite y'all to the Toon on the Rock bar at 6/6:30 on Friday PM for a few swift bevvies for my birthday. What we end up doing post Toon, only time and no doubt booze will tell, but no doubt lots of fun is to be had :D